You've put your heart and soul into the lead up towards your pageant final, you made sure you had the right wardrobe, practiced your interview skills and made sure your sash was seen everywhere but the crown was placed on another girl's head. It is completely natural to feel sad, to feel angry or just to not feel anything at all but the saying goes, everything happens for a reason and it may not feel like it yet, but the crown will be yours one day! Here are a few tips and pointers about how to bounce back after a placing.
1. Make sure to keep those emotions private- Don't air them out on Facebook!
They say once you write something on the internet, it's there forever. You may delete your post but screenshots stay and float around. We have all competed and felt the need to vent, but do those in private, to girls you trust, to family members who may not understand pageants at all, to your boyfriend who may not even be listening at all but is dialling that pizza man! Be thankful that you placed as high as you did, as there are other girl's who didn't and may feel just as low. You are amazing to even stand on that stage and should be so proud that you have achieved all that you have achieved!!! Don't ever think it's something you did wrong, there was just a girl that needed the crown more. I have competed and been so down when placing runner up or just getting in the Top Five but then looking back I wouldn't of been able to give that title what it needed, or wouldn't have been able to enjoy family moments because I would of been elsewhere. It is all a learning curve!
2. Listen to the feedback
It's hard to hear negative things about yourself, or stuff you thought you did amazing at but in fact need a little help. You can pay all the money in the world to a pageant coach or get the pageant perfect wardrobe that costs 1000's of pounds, but if you are missing the confidence or missing that certain spark when it comes to a certain round then it's all a waste. Feedback is great, most pageants give out the scores so you can see where you scored highly or need work at other rounds, others just give out feedback from the judges and you should use this to your advantage! Even if you have won, its always good to see your feedback to take into internationals! Remember, it's not going to be the same judges on every single panel. You may find that your style of pageantry doesn't fit that particular pageant! I've competed in systems before where I haven't placed at all, yet I have won in others, doing the exact same thing. Don't write that "hanging up my pageant heels" status just yet!
3. Work on improving!
There is always room for improvement on a pageant stage, I usually like to watch the live streams back and see where I could improve, or re read my feedback. This year in Texas I could of done so much better, but in that moment I gave the best performance I could do in that moment. Giving time to reflect back, I can see what adjustments I need to make if I want to compete again! This is where your friends come in, they will give you an honest opinion! Keep building on your strengths and push out any weaknesses!
4. Not everybody is perfect, there is no perfect way to win a crown!
What works for one queen may not work for another, don't try and change yourself to fit that one crown, no matter how amazing it would look on your head! Research what fits your style of pageantry and go forward from there. Look out for your mental health as well, sometimes we focus too much on that one event and forget that we have our lives surrounding us. There is more to life than the crown that sits upon your head! Remember to enjoy the process, and that you don't have to make a million appearances to win as some queens win with only making one or two, you don't have to make yourself bankrupt to afford the best pageant outfits when girls have won in dresses won on ebay! Nerves are natural but don't work yourself down into the ground!!
Remember it may not have been your time for the crown, there are so many national and international queens that have placed first runner up more than once! Take Miss Universe Pia who won the Philippines crown on her third attempt! Coming closer to home, Freya placed 1st runner up twice at Miss Galaxy Scotland and won Miss Inspiration this year, Atlanta placed 1st runner up in 2016 for YEMI and won on her second attempt and is now an international YAMI queen! There are so many stories about girls placing and winning the next time they come back! I know it hurts right now, but believe me, from a girl who won the YEMI ms title on her second attempt whilst dealing with morning sickness and SPD, there is the right time for that crown, never give up and keep going girl!!
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